Author: cometsgirl

I had a crisis of faith in the mid 70’s.  Events beyond my control tossed me around, and tossed me out of relationship with God. I left church, taking my family with me. And I left God.

A few years later my family returned to church because I wanted my sons to have the experience of Christian education and community as part of their life formation. I was purposely silent during the spoken or sung words during the service. It was a crisis of faith, no doubt about it.

My sons were nourished and fed in their faith at St. Dunstan’s Episcopal Church.  They both were active in the acolyte core, described as “second to none”. I am so grateful for their exposure to faith in this community. As they grew up and began their lives apart from home, I left the church once again.

A tradition at St. Dunstan’s was for those students who had graduated from high school and gone off to college, to return to serve as acolytes on College Sunday (the Sunday following Christmas). My younger son was home from college his freshman year and would be serving as an acolyte. I had heard St. Dunstan’s had called a woman priest to serve as assistant to the  rector. I wanted to be with my son that Sunday, and I also wanted to experience this new reality of women leading liturgy.

I returned to church that Sunday.

I also began my journey back to God.

Following the service, I spoke with The Reverend Beth Fain.  I remember the conversation as clearly as if it was yesterday. I told her how I had been away from church and from God, and that I would like to talk with her about this loss. She said I could schedule an appointment with her in a few days, after she went to visit her mom.  Then she said, “Let’s see what God has in store for you.”

And so my journey to return to God began.

Along the way I’ve had company.

In the form of a Cursillo Reunion group. This group met weekly to share our faith journey during the previous week. The purpose of our breakfast meeting was to share with each other our growing in faith that was taking place within;

in the form of finding a weekly Wednesday noon Eucharist in the chapel at St. Luke’s Episcopal Hospital, just across the street from my office in the Texas Medical Center. I met and became friends with the Chaplain, The Reverend Helen Appleburg. My weekly worship with Helen+ fed my soul and helped sow seeds for my journey of  yearning for, and finding God;

in the form of study and conversation with The Reverend Barbara Taylor, who was at that time the rector of a small Episcopal church in North Georgia. She helped give me the courage to trust in my journey to come;

through my service in the Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta, with the ministries I joined, and even led. – whose missions are to serve the least among us- those whom Jesus says we are to give care;

through my service in my home parish, Saint James, Clayton, GA. And with the renewed urge to learn about church history and scripture, all because of the presence of my rectory, The Reverend Mary Demmler;

and more than anything, through the spiritual direction with Rev Beth that I began in January 1993 and which continues to this day.

This 25 year journey to God has brought me to a place of continued soul seeking and finding. This day, as I join 500 other delegates for my diocese’s Annual Council, I think about all the things I’ve done for God that I wouldn’t have done had I not taken that first step to introduce myself and ask for direction.

I have been tethered in my faith-seeking by these women. And by so many others with whom I have shared paths of service and companionship as I have sought and found.

Thanks be to God.

After three days of lovely weather, a rain front moved through in waves throughout yesterday.

There was a scarcity of people as we moved through the day. With the scarcity of people came an abundance of parking spaces. A rain perk.

As always, coffee to begin the day. This time a new coffee roastery find. 35˚ North Coffee Roasters. A return visit in the afternoon.

In and out of art spaces filled the spaces between waves of rain.

35˚ North

Santa Fe Clay

SITE Santa Fe. Jacob Hashimoto’s The Dark Isn’t the Thing to Worry About

Paola Soleri Amphitheater (now fenced and left to the elements).

This photo is from many years ago as it looked when constructed. I’ve carried a clipping from New Mexico magazine with me on many trips to Santa Fe, one time actually visiting the site. I’ve always wanted to return.

Then…

and now.

Collaborations of God and man revealed as the day progressed.

And too, made by man alone.

A final art experience to end the rainy day. Music. A concert with Sikh Snatam Kaur and her band. She is an American singer, songwriter and author. She performs new age Indian devotional music, kirtan, and tours the world as a peace activist.

The two and one-half hours of chants and song involved a lot of audience participation, as we all joined in the chanting, calling for love and peace. A quietly stilling and uplifting experience.

It has been good to return to this place where I have journeyed in times past with this dear friend.

Homeward bound in a few hours.

Traveling mercies.

Today’s plan was to start with coffee, then browse the wares of the Native American artisans who set up their selling stools and blankets along the north side of the Santa Fe Plaza.

From there we would head up to the Randall Davey Audubon Center and Sanctuary to walk/hike the trails.

Yes, that was the plan. Accordingly, I donned my hiking shoes.

We got to the espresso shop,

and did some Native American shopping, with the purchase of a new ear cuff. Yea!

And then the plans changed. Not for the bad, rather a change that would have been better served by wearing my walking shoes.

Labyrinth walking.

Shopping. Poking around in shops and galleries.

Walking around the plaza.

While walking around, I discovered that the columns pictured below, which are located in front of the Native American museum, were painted by the muralist I had met earlier this month in Bentonville, Arkansas. Yatika Starr Fields. What a delight!

All this walking around town, in hiking shoes no less, brought on a desire for a meal at The Shed. It was amazing.

More shopping on side streets winding away from the plaza.

Eventually we made it to the Audubon center. With weary feet, we set out on the main trail. We were warned that a mother bear and her cub had been seen several times on this trail, so I carried on in my usual gabby way with elevated volume on high alert.

I even read a poem aloud. It’s a good one, so I’m including it here.

Safely off the beaten trail, we headed to Ecco for gelato and espresso. A fitting treat for one with weary feet.

On this day of rest, I was very conscious of my surroundings as I went about my day. Colors, textures and vistas in this part of God’s creation carry a unique kind of brilliance…

pattern…

and awe.

From the Service of Holy Eucharist at St. Bede’s Episcopal Church this morning, this collect: God, Heart of the Earth and Heart of the Sky, who became servant of all, empower us with your Spirit to renew the face of the Earth. Through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Ah, the gift of flight. I’ll not ever take it for granted. It took some soul searching, some good counsel, some desire, some faith, and some Mozart to find my wings. Thirty-three years and 393 air trips later, I’m still astounded and grateful for finding my way to my wings.

In her seventies, Georgia O’Keeffe traveled in an airplane for the first time and was fascinated at the view looking down on the earth and the clouds.

 Around 1963, working in Abiquiu, New Mexico, she began a series featuring endless expanses of clouds. Sky above Clouds IV was the culmination of the series.

Occasionally when I gaze out the window on a flight I like to think I’m seeing something similar to what O’Keeffe saw.

Just a short time ago this view.

I’m hoping we daytrip to Abiquiu during our time here. One afternoon on that trip years ago, we were sitting on a swing outside the guest house at Sue’s. Uncharacteristically unrealistic for us, we decided to get in the car and drive to Georgia’s place. We’d no clue exactly where she lived, but we were certain we would run across her out walking along the road.

While we had a lovely drive in that part of northern New Mexico, we did not find Georgia.

Here’s a stock photo to give you a sense of the area. I hope to replace it with my own in a day or so.

Before O’Keeffe saw the clouds from the sky above, she was totally taken with the New Mexico sky as she gazed up. In a letter to her friend Anita Politer in 1916 she wrote, “…and the SKY – Anita you have never seen SKY. – it is wonderful.”

This from a previous trip.

In the meantime, I had quite a turbulent ride across Oklahoma. Flying low, the views below are easily seen and enjoyed.

Now calm skies as we cross into New Mexico. Soon to arrive.

Crescit eundo. The New Mexico State motto. Latin for “It grows as it goes”. On that note, I have landed in the land of enchantment.

I’m traveling once again. This time to Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Known as The Land of Enchantment” because of the state’s scenic beauty and its rich history, it holds a special place in my soul.

It IS beautiful!  There is nothing like a blue New Mexico sky. Nor is there anything like the Sangre de Christo mountains as the aspen trees turn to gold. Or the pastel colored canyons of Georgia O’Keffee land. Or…..so many “ors”.

In May Sarton’s poem Of the Seasons, she writes,

While I will be there in fall, not spring or summer, I’ll be watching for views of leopard-land. Here’s a view from travel years ago.

I’m meeting a dear friend who will have celebrated her 75th birthday a couple of days before we meet.  We have been friends for 45 years, and we share some New Mexico history.  Her desire for this milestone in her life, was for us to meet for a few days in this land of enchantment.

My sons spent a month every summer in this place of wonder. The first year they came, in 1983, my friend and I drove from Houston to Pecos, NM, to pick up my boys and bring them home.

I was the new owner of a Toyota Celica. At a time when the United States had pretty much ceased producing convertibles, Toyota, sensing renewed interest in convertibles, was converting Celicas into convertibles. I bought one while the kids were at camp.

We drove the 800 miles from Houston to Santa Fe in “Flashdance”. It was quite a road trip across Texas into Northern New Mexico. I had just earned my Masters Degree in Public Health and would soon be employed, so this time of pre-employment life and of celebration, was a good fit for hitting the road with a good friend.

Adding a few days into the pick-up-kids itinerary, we traveled around this area of northern New Mexico. We booked our lodging at La Posada de Chimayó. It was a wonderful retreat from the usual lodging we had all experienced in the 70’s and 80’s.  Located near Chimayó, we settled into the guest house and began a friendship with our innkeeper, Sue.

We have remained friends all these years with this extraordinary woman. We will meet her in the village of Chimayó to share a meal and catch up.

I’ll be airborne shortly. Three hours later I’ll be back in the Land of Enchantment.

Traveling mercies.

Today I leave this place and journey home.

Sitting outside at Onyx Coffee, it’s a beautiful morning. The sky is covered with a variety of clouds just passing through.

Along with others, I have passed through this place as well.

I’m thinking about that as I prepare to depart while I enjoy my new favorite espresso drink, Cortado, served with sparkling water.

Eight others were seated with me in Skyspace the other evening.

A young woman we had just met outside the space. as we waited to enter. She was traveling from New York to Tulsa to Texas. Passing through Crystal Bridges she wondered if staying for the Turrell sunset “show” would be worth it. We assured her it was. As the experience came to a close, she mouthed “thank you”.

Two young men wearing headphones settled in on the floor.

A woman from Nashville with whom I had shared the hotel elevator earlier in the day.

A young couple perusing a map as they awaited dusk.

A woman who sat still, and although there was a phone in her lap, she never joined the rest of us as we constantly raised ours to photograph the changing images.

And my best friend.

Last evening we sat in the park on Main Street watching the fountains that encircle the confederate monument.

We were joined for awhile by frisbee-playing youth; a young Hispanic family; members of the 7th Confederate Bikers Battalion; a variety of couples and friends.

Mixtures in both spaces. Similarly seem in the finished mural.

In this time in which we live, where the “mixtures” don’t always mix, it gave me pause.

Probably every person is some mixture of wanting to feel a sense of commonality and shared experience with others but also wanting to feel completely singular and unique. Leslie Jamison

I’m soon to board my flight for home, knowing this place will call me back.

Traveling mercies.

As I walked in and out and around the museum today, I was aware of how the sunny day colored the museum structures and grounds. Compare the photos on an earlier blog with these to see how the light transforms.

When the sun’s light is let in, everything is colored with a sense of warmth and welcome.

So I’m thinking about light in “light” of where I am these few days.

I’ve journeyed to Bentonville specifically for Crystal Bridges Museum. I’ve walked the museum grounds for two days on trails lit by sunlight shining through the leaves of the forest. I’ve been physically warmed by that light.

I’ve experienced the coming and going of the sun and its light by sitting in Skyspace. This art of light transforming night to day and back again was a profound experience for me.

After days of trails, I have finally stepped through the doors into the museum.

Art itself has the ability to color, warm and welcome.

Yes, that’s Michelle Obama. Talk about light!

We’ve been watching the progress of a mural painting in town. It is in conjunction with the upcoming Art for a New Understanding; Native Voices exhibition.

We had a lovely conversation with the artist, Yatika Fields, as he took a break. He spoke about the Native American presence in this area, and in context with bringing light to their historic experience.

Alice Walton was driven by a desire to make art available to all. She yearned for art as a child, but access to art was elusive for her and for other children in this community.

Through Alice’s determination and passion, light had come into the lives of children and adult alike in this place.

I feel as though I’ve been fed by light during my time here, and I’ll most certainly return.

Late this afternoon I returned to Skyspace for the day’s transition from dusk to night.

The description of what we might experience enticed me to sit in this space at the close of day.

“At dusk, as you gaze at blue sky through the oculus, the lights inside begin to change. Then the sky may appear as pink, green, or white depending on its contrast with the changing interior colors. Once the sun has completely set, the oculus appears solid black. What follows is a dazzling burst of fast-moving color that completely fills the space.”

Count me in to be dazzled.

Just as with sunrise, the lights began to change as the day became dusk and then night. Colors transformed the space.

Dazzling!

And silencing as well. It’s hard to describe the experience of having been led through colors that accompany the day’s end, but it dazzles while also silencing.

From Skyspace we took that silent moment to the Buckyball installation. Created by Leo Villareal, it honors geodesic dome designer, Buckminster Fuller.

It’s an “out-loud” dazzling experience as lights in perpetual motion illuminate the double geodesic dome.

We deemed frozen yogurt a fitting way to bring this dazzling day to a close.

One of the joys about Crystal Bridges Museum is the fact there is outdoor art beyond the inside collection and exhibitions.

A series of extensive trails wander around the grounds, through the woods and the natural beauty of this area of the state.

There’s even a trail map app that lets you see where you are, along with the myriad of trail options seen as you begin your walk.

Artist installations are found along the trails.

My Fitbit is recording a record number of steps. Yesterday I had 10,000 steps by 11am!

It’s a peaceful and peace-filled place.

According to Picasso, “The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls”.

I have been washing the dust off my soul as I’ve walked through trails of both Creator art and art created by human hands.